I Didn’t Do Anything Today And I’m Still Enough

I had a whole to-do list today.

Home things. Personal things. Work things.

Shopping errands. Emails to answer. Reels to finish. Dinner to make.

There was so much I could have done.

I could’ve done the laundry.

I could’ve organized a closet.

I could’ve made a beautiful supper or checked ten things off my list.

But I wasn’t feeling good.

Not physically. Not emotionally. Not energetically.

And I couldn’t push through like I usually do.

I didn’t have the motivation or the drive and instead of offering myself grace, I was hard on myself. Really hard.

The voice in my head was loud:

“You’re wasting the day.”

“Look at everything you should be doing.”

“Other women are doing more than you right now.”

And beneath the guilt was something even deeper shame.

This tiny, harsh voice whispering,

“You’re being lazy.”

“You’re falling behind.”

“You’re not doing enough. You’re not enough.”

I looked at other women online and thought,

Look at her she’s doing more. She’s managing better.

And I judged myself.

I wondered what people would think if they knew I was just lying on the couch or still in my pajamas .

And that part that quiet turning against yourself is the hardest.

Because it’s not just that you’re tired.

It’s that you feel like you’re failing.

But I’m trying to talk to myself differently now.

Like someone I love.

Like someone who deserves kindness even when she’s tired.

Especially when she’s tired.

Because here’s what I’m learning:

We are not machines.

We are women. And we are expected to give in so many ways to our spouses, our children, our jobs, our friends, our homes, our communities.

But we can’t pour from an empty cup.

We can’t give and give and give without refilling.

There is only so much we can put out before we start to feel hollow inside.

Sometimes, doing nothing is actually doing something.

It’s resetting.

It’s recharging your battery so you can show up as the best version of yourself.

I define success in very specific ways.

When I make money.

When my house is clean and organized.

When I’ve cooked a homemade dinner.

When I’ve posted Instagram content.

When I’ve shared a recipe that helps someone.

When I’ve done a good deed or crossed something off my list.

That’s when I feel like I’m winning.

That’s when I feel proud.

But what about the days I don’t do any of that?

What about the days when I rest?

When I sit in silence.

When I say no.

When I cancel the plans or don’t answer the message or just lie on the couch under a blanket with lukewarm coffee and a foggy mind?

Are those days wasted?

I used to think so.

But now I’m starting to believe something different.

Rest isn’t a reward.

Stillness isn’t selfish.

Doing nothing isn’t lazy it’s necessary.

We don’t have to wait until we’re running on fumes.

We don’t have to earn our breaks with pain and exhaustion.

We don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of peace.

You are allowed to rest.

You are allowed to do nothing.

You are allowed to just be.

This is not a call to give up.

It’s a call to fill up.

To pause before you break.

To breathe before you burn out.

Sometimes, success looks like being gentle with yourself.

Sometimes, it sounds like silence.

Sometimes, it feels like a nap in the middle of the day.

And that I’m learning is more than okay.

That is growth.

That is healing.

That is enough.

Maybe rest isn’t what you do after you’ve proven your worth.

Maybe rest is how you remind yourself you already have it.

With love ❤️

Chaya